Marriage Jokes

Man: Koi Lambi Umar Ka Tareeqa Bataiye?
Doctor: Shadi Kar Lo?
Man: Kya Is Se Umar Lambi Ho Jayegi??
Doctor: Nahi, Ye khwish Khatam Ho Jayegi

 

Law of 2nd Marrige

Question: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
Answer:Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

 

My wife and me were happy for twenty two years. Then we got married to each other.

 

You know the happy marriage is over when the husband calls home and says that he will be coming home late for dinner and the answering machine tells that the dinner is in the microwave oven.

 

Boys r boys

Girl text her boyfriend in the middle of the night....
Girl:- janu I can't live without u....will u marry me...?
After few minutes...
Girl:- janu plz reply me, will u marry me....?
After few minutes....
Boy:- whats ur name plz coz I lost all my contacts.....
Boys r boys....

 

New Generation Advice at marriage time

1982: Dulha Bhai Jo Kare, Unko Kar Lene Dena
1994: Jo Bhi Ho Bardaasht Kar Lena, Rokna Mat!
2003: Fikar Na Kar Yaar, Tujhe To Sab Pata Hai!
2011: Yaar Koi Naya Style Pata Chale To Mujhe Bhi Batana Plz

 

According to me, marriage is the main cause for divorce.

According to me, marriage is the main cause for divorce.

 

My wife is an angel

My buddy told me "My wife is an angel" I told him "You're lucky! Mine is still alive''

 

Soon weddings on FACEBOOK

Soon weddings on FACEBOOK will be held like this !! Priest: Do you agree from changing ur status from single to married? Guy : yes !! Gal : yes !! Priest : I announce you husband and wife....You may now POKE the bride

 

laanat hai aisi zindagi pay

Husband to Wife:

Tum meri zindagi ho,
or __
...
WIFE: or KYA?...
Batao na or kya????


Wife shouted tell me or kya?

Husband: or laanat hai aisi zindagi pay

 

Shaadi kehte Hain

Husband: ''Hypnotise'' karna kya hota hai?????

Wife: Kisi ko apnay control me kar k apni marzi k kaam karwaana.........

Husband:Chal jhooTi,usse to Shaadi kehte haiN....

 

Galti par maafi mangne vale ko kya khte hai

Teacher-galti par maafi mangne vale ko kya khte hai??
SONU-samajhdaar.....
TCHR-aur na galti hone par bhi maafi mangne vaale ko kya khte hai???
SONU-Husband....

 

One spelling mistake can destroy your life

A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e'at the end of a word.....


"I am having such a wonderful time!

Wish you were her.!"

 

he must pay for his mistake

Husband and wife had an argument.
Wife called up her mom: He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you.

Mom: Nahi Nahi beti, he must pay for his mistake,

I am coming to stay with you!!!

 

How husband saves his wife number

Newly married husband savd wife number on mobile as
"My life"
After 1 year

"My wife"
5 year; "home"

...10year;"Hitler"
&after

silver anniversary;

"wrong number"....

 

KUTTA he KUTTA

A man kills DEER & cooks it & doesnt tell kids what it is?

He gives a Clue" its what ur Mom calls me !".

Son Shouted-"Koi mat khana,

KUTTA he KUTTA