husband-wife Jokes

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds!
I gifted her a weighing scale.

 

Question: Why is it that after they get married, a husband and wife are like two sides of a coin.
Answer: Because although they cannot bear to face one another, they remain together.

 

your husband needs rest

Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and peace so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.!!

 

Koun Thi Wo

Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,Koun Thi Wo?
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

 

Defination of successful partners

A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man

 

Aur main Swargwasi

Sagai Hui... Shadi Hui...
Biwi Ghar Mein Aayi...
Ghar Swarg Ban Gaya...
Aur main "Swargwasi"...

 

until he gets a wife

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!

 

Aisi BIWI ko kya kahege

Aisi BIWI ko kya kahege jo Sundar ho,
Samajhdar ho, Budhiman ho, Kam bolti ho,
aur apne pati se kabhi na LADTI ho " AFWAH "

 

Hell to hell is Free

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

 

shaadi ka faayda

Husband: Tumse shaadi karke mujhe ek bahut bada faayda hua hai!
Wife: Woh kya?
Husband: Mujhe mere gunaaho ki saza jeete jee hi mil gayi!